Current mood: blow me to death

I though I was to allergic to Vodka turns out it’s just Red Bull, actually all energy drinks. I can’t tell you how depressed I was when I thought I could never partake of my beloved Vodka. it was a terrible loss, a small death if you will. Allergic to Vodka, depressing. It was like finding my lost love when I took that drink and there was no allergic reaction. Mmmm, heaven.

I am however, allergic to Bee Pollen, I exhibit a minor reaction,death. I could die from a pollen hand-job. My biggest fear is to get a blowjob by a lady wearing Burt’s Bees lip balm. If for some reason my lovely companion decides she has had enough of me and my daily shenanigans, some Burt’s Bees and this massage does not have a happy ending. ‘No happy ending you!’ As my regular massage therapist says.  If I end up dead from anaphylactic shock, check my lady friends out for Burt’s Bees.

That’s it!
Anthony Dominguez
comedian.writer.lover…